Laugh out loud JOKES
HAHA
Jokes
There are three guys in a car. There names are shut-up, stupid, and trouble. So these tree guys go for a spin and trouble rolls down his window. Swoosh, trouble flys out. Then a police man pulls over stupid and shut-up awhile later. The police man gos to stupid and askes what his name is and stupid answers, stupid. The police man is getting pretty angry to he walks around to the other side of the car and askes shut-up what his name was. Shut-up then replide shut-up. The police man stood up and said, "Are you boys looking for trouble?" Shut-up and stupid looked at each other and said, "Yea, he flew out the window 5 miles back."
Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? You have to hollow out the head.
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
A blonde is sitting on a park bench and she is crying. A man walks up to her and asked whats wrong. She said terrible news, he said what. My mother died but that's not the worst news. He asked what is the worst news and she said I called my sister and she said her mother died too.
Legend has it that there is a restaurant in New York where, in the Ladies Room, there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, on eis granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie-*poof*-you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again. Sooooo, A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world."-*poof*-The mirror swallows her. Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm losing weight."-*poof*-The mirror swallows her. Then an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think...."*poof*-
A blonde walks up to a coke machine, puts in a dollar, presses the button and a coke comes out. A man walks up behind her and says "Excuse me Miss, but what are you doing?" The blonde then turns around, flips her hair and says "Duh! I'm winning!"
A state trooper puls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?" The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was nother tree in front of me!" Reaching through the side window to the rear veiw mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."
Poems
This summer I saw some scary things, I saw a pidgeon with three wings! A scary dog! A scary cat! I even saw a scary rat! But the scariest thing of them all: A "Back-to-school" poster at the mall.
Please Mum? Can you buy me a doll mum can you buy me a dress, can you buy me some paints mum so I can make a mess! Can you make some cakes mum can you make me a mask, can you make me a cubby mum you know it's not much that I ask! Can we go to the park mum can we go out to eat, can we go to Kentucky mum it's about time we had a treat! Can I have an apple mum can I have a toffee, can I have a bath now mum you don't really want that coffee! You can have your coffee mum you can have your cup of tea, you can have a break now mum but please please untie me!
Pictures coming soon!
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