Hello out there. I'm really hoping to find some answers from these forums and hopefully, I can be of some help in return.
Following the worst case of Mid-life-crisis, I've heard of, I found myself asking many questions about truth; in particular inner truth. How do you find it?

Traks, hello! So, you are experiencing that old hobgoblin of our existence that we call Midlife crisis, that time of our lives where it finally dawns on us that we just started on the down side of our timed lifespan. We, usually, experience this crisis between the ages of thirty-five and fifty. It’s a crisis that sneaks up on us and before we can adequately adjust to it we are in it up to our armpits. We, finally, realize that half of our life is over and done with yet we have not accomplished anywhere near half of the goals we set out for ourselves some few years back. We have not become our company’s CEO. We have not been discovered by any talent agencies. We did not fulfill that dream we had of becoming the next Jack Nicklaus or Bob Barker. We didn’t set the world on fire with our good looks or with our personal charisma. No one yet wants us to run for President or even Vice President of the U.S. Our own family members don’t really know how great they have it because of all of the sacrifices that we made to assure them a quality education so that they can take care of themselves and their own families. The dog and the cat only want us to feed them and nothing more. Yes, the old midlife crisis rears up its ugly head and bites a big chunk out or our ego. So, what do we do? Well, we try to get our youth back. We do that by trying to dress young, look young, and think and act younger. We turn a bit on our own family members because we think it is about time that they start realizing how important we are in their lives. It is about time that everyone should be forced to take notice of who we really are and not who he or she wants us to be. Yes, we either put our foot down or we crawl into a hole and cover our heads with a blanket of unworthiness and self-pity. Well, after acting a fool for a couple of months or longer, it finally dawns on us that we are very stupid for acting and behaving like we are and did. You see, the crises ends at this point. We realize that we did okay and that what we accomplished was really something to brag about, we realize that most of our children are not on drugs or in jail and our wife is still in the kitchen cooking us a good wholesome meal and the dog only wants petted. Life is really not that bad, you know?

I don’t know if you will find the answers to your questions about life here but I think if you spend a little time reading some of the posts previously posted that you may be happy that you entered this site.

I think that with your life’s experiences that you very well can help us find some answers to some questions that we do have, too. Welcome!

Traks, hello! So, you are experiencing that old hobgoblin of our existence that we call Midlife crisis, that time of our lives where it finally dawns on us that we just started on the down side of our timed lifespan. We, usually, experience this crisis between the ages of thirty-five and fifty. It’s a crisis that sneaks up on us and before we can adequately adjust to it we are in it up to our armpits. We, finally, realize that half of our life is over and done with yet we have not accomplished anywhere near half of the goals we set out for ourselves some few years back. We have not become our company’s CEO. We have not been discovered by any talent agencies. We did not fulfill that dream we had of becoming the next Jack Nicklaus or Bob Barker. We didn’t set the world on fire with our good looks or with our personal charisma. No one yet wants us to run for President or even Vice President of the U.S. Our own family members don’t really know how great they have it because of all of the sacrifices that we made to assure them a quality education so that they can take care of themselves and their own families. The dog and the cat only want us to feed them and nothing more. Yes, the old midlife crisis rears up its ugly head and bites a big chunk out or our ego. So, what do we do? Well, we try to get our youth back. We do that by trying to dress young, look young, and think and act younger. We turn a bit on our own family members because we think it is about time that they start realizing how important we are in their lives. It is about time that everyone should be forced to take notice of who we really are and not who he or she wants us to be. Yes, we either put our foot down or we crawl into a hole and cover our heads with a blanket of unworthiness and self-pity. Well, after acting a fool for a couple of months or longer, it finally dawns on us that we are very stupid for acting and behaving like we are and did. You see, the crises ends at this point. We realize that we did okay and that what we accomplished was really something to brag about, we realize that most of our children are not on drugs or in jail and our wife is still in the kitchen cooking us a good wholesome meal and the dog only wants petted. Life is really not that bad, you know?

I don’t know if you will find the answers to your questions about life here but I think if you spend a little time reading some of the posts previously posted that you may be happy that you entered this site.

I think that with your life’s experiences that you very well can help us find some answers to some questions that we do have, too. Welcome!
hi i reaily would like to help you findout those questions because i am reaily interestid in that sort of thing so can you help me and i can help you

people that allways look to others for the same answers they can get theyselfs are very week and insecure ,and will ask a million people the same questions never hearing what someone is saying because most peoples understanding of things is so different , or mentally week or mental condictions or posessed by a devil , if we could all understand the same we would not have the selfesh masses of people on earth , emotion doesnot allow people to ever find logic earthman emotion allways wamts to be lied to

Traks, hello! So, you are experiencing that old hobgoblin of our existence that we call Midlife crisis, that time of our lives where it finally dawns on us that we just started on the down side of our timed lifespan. We, usually, experience this crisis between the ages of thirty-five and fifty. It’s a crisis that sneaks up on us and before we can adequately adjust to it we are in it up to our armpits. We, finally, realize that half of our life is over and done with yet we have not accomplished anywhere near half of the goals we set out for ourselves some few years back. We have not become our company’s CEO. We have not been discovered by any talent agencies. We did not fulfill that dream we had of becoming the next Jack Nicklaus or Bob Barker. We didn’t set the world on fire with our good looks or with our personal charisma. No one yet wants us to run for President or even Vice President of the U.S. Our own family members don’t really know how great they have it because of all of the sacrifices that we made to assure them a quality education so that they can take care of themselves and their own families. The dog and the cat only want us to feed them and nothing more. Yes, the old midlife crisis rears up its ugly head and bites a big chunk out or our ego. So, what do we do? Well, we try to get our youth back. We do that by trying to dress young, look young, and think and act younger. We turn a bit on our own family members because we think it is about time that they start realizing how important we are in their lives. It is about time that everyone should be forced to take notice of who we really are and not who he or she wants us to be. Yes, we either put our foot down or we crawl into a hole and cover our heads with a blanket of unworthiness and self-pity. Well, after acting a fool for a couple of months or longer, it finally dawns on us that we are very stupid for acting and behaving like we are and did. You see, the crises ends at this point. We realize that we did okay and that what we accomplished was really something to brag about, we realize that most of our children are not on drugs or in jail and our wife is still in the kitchen cooking us a good wholesome meal and the dog only wants petted. Life is really not that bad, you know?

I don’t know if you will find the answers to your questions about life here but I think if you spend a little time reading some of the posts previously posted that you may be happy that you entered this site.

I think that with your life’s experiences that you very well can help us find some answers to some questions that we do have, too. Welcome!
hi my dad pastway about 3 years ago and sametimes itis hard to cope with me and my sister talk about it and i was wordering what is the best way of copeing is it good dus it help it is still on my chest can you help me.

Laurajane, I missed your previous post. I may be able to help you out and I hope you can help me, too.

First when you say that you are interested in finding out some answers to some of life’s many questions, which questions or question are you referring?

I think to lose a father or a mother or a child is nearly always tragic in one way or another way. In your case, the loss of your father cannot have been very easy for you. I doubt that three years time has softened that blow very much. My father died in 1979 and I was 33 years old and I cried like a baby for days and when I think about him now I still feel the pain of losing him like it was yesterday.

I am still coping with my own father’s death, so I doubt that I will be of much help to you or your sister. I was hoping, however, if you or your sister would mind trying to help me to cope well with my father’s death so very long ago. What do you do when everyone leaves you and there is no one about but your own thoughts about your father begins to creep into your head? How do you forget his face and his strength? How do you forget his voice and his looks? How do you forget his walk and his kind of love?

I think that it may be a good thing for both of us or all three of us if we talk these things we feel in our chest out in the open like this, don’t you?

Do you care to talk about your father or your feelings for him or his feelings for you? I am a willing listener. Can you tell me what he did with you and your sister that made you both laugh?

If you want to talk about death or after death or anything like that, please, go ahead and ask what you want and I will try to answer the best way I know how. I must warn you, however, that just because I tell you how I think things are or are not does not make what I say the absolute truth or anything like the actual truth. What I tell you will be only my very own thoughts about things, as I understand them to be and nothing more. You can read what I say but I think that if you were taught by your father and your mother to believe in the beliefs of their own culture’s religion then I think that you should go to those people and let them guide you and guide your sister. But, I too am here to help if I can.

Good day to the both of you, Carlan

Laurajane, I missed your previous post. I may be able to help you out and I hope you can help me, too.

First when you say that you are interested in finding out some answers to some of life’s many questions, which questions or question are you referring?

I think to lose a father or a mother or a child is nearly always tragic in one way or another way. In your case, the loss of your father cannot have been very easy for you. I doubt that three years time has softened that blow very much. My father died in 1979 and I was 33 years old and I cried like a baby for days and when I think about him now I still feel the pain of losing him like it was yesterday.

I am still coping with my own father’s death, so I doubt that I will be of much help to you or your sister. I was hoping, however, if you or your sister would mind trying to help me to cope well with my father’s death so very long ago. What do you do when everyone leaves you and there is no one about but your own thoughts about your father begins to creep into your head? How do you forget his face and his strength? How do you forget his voice and his looks? How do you forget his walk and his kind of love?

I think that it may be a good thing for both of us or all three of us if we talk these things we feel in our chest out in the open like this, don’t you?

Do you care to talk about your father or your feelings for him or his feelings for you? I am a willing listener. Can you tell me what he did with you and your sister that made you both laugh?

If you want to talk about death or after death or anything like that, please, go ahead and ask what you want and I will try to answer the best way I know how. I must warn you, however, that just because I tell you how I think things are or are not does not make what I say the absolute truth or anything like the actual truth. What I tell you will be only my very own thoughts about things, as I understand them to be and nothing more. You can read what I say but I think that if you were taught by your father and your mother to believe in the beliefs of their own culture’s religion then I think that you should go to those people and let them guide you and guide your sister. But, I too am here to help if I can.

Good day to the both of you, Carlan
hi again i got your post thanks me and my sister like to talk about it but i do fill sad after it because the thorts are still in my head me and my mum dont talk about it because she dont like to. i was 11 when my dad die now im 16 so it must of been 5years. my mum kick me out so i was on my own i had some ruff times. when my dad was alive i was a good little girl always went to school on time and never bunkt off school and when i lost him it all changed i was i little bitch but now i an sort of doing all right. what about you and your dad i hope you had someone their for you.

Laurajane, a wife relationship to her husband and your sister and your relationship to your father are very different. Your mother’s feelings about him and about his death may be similar to you and your sister’s feelings but they will not be the same. Your mother is entitled to her feelings and in her wanting to talk about your father and her not wanting to talk about your father and your father’s death. She is doing the best she can even though you may not think, at times, that she is but as you age you both will better understand why she does or did what she did throughout these last five years. Mums under certain strain will kick out a daughter that is not helping matters and, in fact, may be causing more strain. Mums are not perfect people but who is?

You say that you were a good little girl when your father lived but after he died you became a bad girl of sorts. I think that what counts now is that you must go back to being that good girl once more because if you choose not to you will always be unhappy and more and bigger problems will follow you wherever you go.

Remember that your father would never want you to be a bad girl or a stupid girl. He would want you to be the best girl that you could be. That does not mean that he would want you to be the perfect girl or the smartest girl or the prettiest girl but it does mean that he would want you to do his name and his memory proud. He would ask you to get a good honest paying job as soon as you can and he would ask you to work hard and try to educate yourself better so that you will someday get an even better job and he would ask you to always watch over your sister and your mother. If your sister is reading this, tell her that her father is speaking to her, too.

There were my brothers and sister and mother and other relatives and friends around me when my dad died, but as you well know that all of those people though they all grieved heavily for dad’s loss and everyone supported everyone else the best we all could; it still gets down to that no one can feel the grief that lives inside yourself. Like you and your sister and mum and everyone else I had to deal with grief and that loneliness and that loss myself just like all of you had to do. Time passing heals but sometimes it heals so very, very slowly!

I think that the spirit that is your mum and your dad is brightly shining in you and in your sister but I think that a thin blanket of grief and loss and abandonment covers that light so it appears dim. Perhaps, we out here can lift that blanket clear off of you one day but that cannot happen at all if you and your sister do not do the right things to help to make that happen. You girls must make up your mind that you will, from this moment on, be that girl that women that will make your mum happy and proud and will, also, make your dad’s spirit happy and proud, too.

Keep us informed of any help that you believe that you need where you live and someone out here may be kind enough to see that you and your sister and your mum get that assistance and that support. Bye for now, Carlan

Laurajane, a wife relationship to her husband and your sister and your relationship to your father are very different. Your mother’s feelings about him and about his death may be similar to you and your sister’s feelings but they will not be the same. Your mother is entitled to her feelings and in her wanting to talk about your father and her not wanting to talk about your father and your father’s death. She is doing the best she can even though you may not think, at times, that she is but as you age you both will better understand why she does or did what she did throughout these last five years. Mums under certain strain will kick out a daughter that is not helping matters and, in fact, may be causing more strain. Mums are not perfect people but who is?

You say that you were a good little girl when your father lived but after he died you became a bad girl of sorts. I think that what counts now is that you must go back to being that good girl once more because if you choose not to you will always be unhappy and more and bigger problems will follow you wherever you go.

Remember that your father would never want you to be a bad girl or a stupid girl. He would want you to be the best girl that you could be. That does not mean that he would want you to be the perfect girl or the smartest girl or the prettiest girl but it does mean that he would want you to do his name and his memory proud. He would ask you to get a good honest paying job as soon as you can and he would ask you to work hard and try to educate yourself better so that you will someday get an even better job and he would ask you to always watch over your sister and your mother. If your sister is reading this, tell her that her father is speaking to her, too.

There were my brothers and sister and mother and other relatives and friends around me when my dad died, but as you well know that all of those people though they all grieved heavily for dad’s loss and everyone supported everyone else the best we all could; it still gets down to that no one can feel the grief that lives inside yourself. Like you and your sister and mum and everyone else I had to deal with grief and that loneliness and that loss myself just like all of you had to do. Time passing heals but sometimes it heals so very, very slowly!

I think that the spirit that is your mum and your dad is brightly shining in you and in your sister but I think that a thin blanket of grief and loss and abandonment covers that light so it appears dim. Perhaps, we out here can lift that blanket clear off of you one day but that cannot happen at all if you and your sister do not do the right things to help to make that happen. You girls must make up your mind that you will, from this moment on, be that girl that women that will make your mum happy and proud and will, also, make your dad’s spirit happy and proud, too.

Keep us informed of any help that you believe that you need where you live and someone out here may be kind enough to see that you and your sister and your mum get that assistance and that support. Bye for now, Carlan
my mum and sister dont speak to eachother me and my sister have the same dad but not the same mum. iv got a job now and im back at school year 12 im in sixform so mi going ok fornow.

Laurajane, these kinds of personal relationships will complicate even the best of anyone's intentions. The bloodline is bonding glue that sticks like nothing else will. So, your sister and you are bonded together through your father but not through your mothers. Well, either way, both mothers are probably still doing the best they can with what they have gotten over their own life times. The mothers will have to do whatever it is they want to do but you and your sister are the two people that concern me. You sound as if you already have a job and you are back in school and you only have six more months and you will graduate. Is that correct?

How is your sister doing? Is she working or is she in school or both?

You say, that you are doing okay for now. Well, that is a good beginning. I don’t know if you or your sister will pay much attention to what I said about life thus far and I really do not think that either of you should pay attention to a complete stranger like I am to you, but I want the both of you to know no matter what either of you choose to do with your lives that each of you will try as hard as you can to make yourselves proud of each other some day. I am out here rooting for the best for the both of you!